Kiss
Puke
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
