I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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