Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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