He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I wish i was in the wii world.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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