We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Of course I have a pirate flag
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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