I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
