if i can run in heels then i can drive
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
