so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
