I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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