batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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