I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
