Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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