I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I need water and some morals
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
