I seem to have left my pride at pride
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
