thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
