Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My bed smells like the plague
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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