No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize