So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
