you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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