she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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