Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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