I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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