dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
