Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
