Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
