You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
