I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Randomize
