I will die if light touches me.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
