How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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