I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
