can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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