I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Less talking, more tequila
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
