dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
