Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
