gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
This is the high leading the old right now
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
