HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
