do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
