i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
