Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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