so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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