If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
