i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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