I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
