Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
