So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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