Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
