who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
