Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
