I wannas sexs uuuuu
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize