I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
