i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
