I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize