Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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