Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
