You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
