Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
