i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
