Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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