Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
