Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
