How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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